It’s just a regular old Wednesday in November. I just finished walking my dog. I am now doing laundry and wondering what I should prepare for dinner and leaning more towards picking up Chick-fil-a. It’s not Valentine’s Day or our Anniversary, yet I am finding myself overcome with gratitude for Josh. He is such a great husband and fabulous Dad. I was thinking back about the different seasons we have been through. From newlywed carefree-ness to job changes and big moves. Kids and finances and hurtful words and forgiveness. Lots of ups and lots of downs and even more just mundance in-between days.
In my mind, this photo popped up:
Dear goodness me. This photo. It was taken by PawPaw Dorminy as he and Deb were leaving to go back home after staying one night with us after Mack got brought home from the hospital in late March 2007. So that means Mack was four days old. I was one day into my 30’s and obviously quite tired. Exhausted and overwhelmed would also describe me. And large. Swollen, maybe? Not sure. But wow. Look at me looking so rough. Ruby was 2. Molly was 1. And they both look like little boy orphans. Josh was also not seeing his greatest days. Even if we had filters, which we did not, there wouldn’t have been one that could cover up the hard truth. We rough.
Worn out might best describe this season of life.
But we loved each other. Josh never made me feel anything except deeply loved and wanted. Never, meaning not one single second. Josh was working hard for our family. I was keeping three little people alive. We had hard days—it was challenging to make time for just each other, but we gave our all to this less-than-glamourous season.
Now the kids are 15, 14 and 12. Josh and I are comfortably in our 40’s and still giving our all to this current season. We took a family photo recently and —thank the good Lord above—we don’t appear to be quite as frazzled. Josh is still working incredibly hard. I am still doing my best to manage the home and our kids. And we still have to fight hard to make time for just each other.
We are still worn out a lot of days. Maybe more mentally and emotionally than physically, but worn out, nonetheless. It is still a less-than-glamourous season as we coordinate schedules, help with Algebra and fuss at the kids about feeding the dog or washing their clothes or taking shorter showers.
Though some nights we fall in the bed exhausted and hardly able to finish a conversation, we are still here together. Still fighting for time together. Still desiring each other. Still supporting each other. Still listening. Still talking. Still interested in each other. Still hopeful for our future. Still giving it all we have because we know our marriage is worth it. Our marriage that represents Christ and the Church to our kids and anyone else that takes a look. Our marriage that provides stability and comfort to our kids. Our marriage that gives us both a safe place to land on those rough days. It’s worth the effort. It’s worth the time. It’s worth the work. And I hope we never give up on God’s plan for marriage. It truly seems to get better and better.
Maybe today–this regular old Wednesday– you will take a look at your spouse and tell them what you love about them. Remind them that you’re in this thing for the long-haul. We can all use some encouragement and words that lift our spirit. Say those words today.