I made a decision to go to the beach with Ruby and Molly. We are each in a season of growing and learning more about who we are—and sometimes this season is tense & heavy and sometimes it is fun & encouraging. When Ruby turned 13 I remember it being a strange revelation of sorts. My mom went to work in the real estate world when I was 13. She became successful and well-respected as a hard worker, and I am proud of her for that. But she also had to sacrifice time with her family. Time with her three girls. She didn’t have a ton of energy to put in to our relationship. I know I’m an intuitive feeler and really can be high maintenance when it comes to bonding and needing to feel known and seen. So I was greatly challenged to evaluate where I was with Ruby and Molly as they entered the teen years. I’ve said many times that kids in their teens need their mom and dad’s attention as much as when they are toddlers or are in early elementary school. It’s such a trying time with so many emotions and tons of peer pressure. I wanted to do it right. And at the same time, I can understand my mom’s desire to try something new, to use her brain and make some money. I’m sure I didn’t communicate clearly my need for her attention and desire to have time with her. But I did need it and want it.
So in an effort to show my girls I value them and want to know them and to try and ensure they want to spend time with me as the years go by, I thought we should go to the beach together. Do something fun! Get away from our regular routine and get away from laundry😊 It’s been a great time. Worth every penny.
I made the reservations before my mom died. I was more determined than ever to make these few days matter after her death because I don’t have many memories like this with my mom. I have long settled that in my heart. She did a ton for me. And she also loved spending time with my dad, which made it challenging to get away with just her. Again, that’s another point I came to terms with long ago.
The girls talked a lot and shared stories from camp last week. They talked about their new school and some of their anxieties around it, but also all the reasons they’re excited to get started. I’m reminded how different they each are. And how different I am from them, yet what a sweet bond we have as mother and daughter. I really enjoyed being with them without any of the distractions of our normal days.
We went shopping, ate good food, lounged on the beach, went for a walk, played cards, talked, and read. I’m so glad we did this together. The girls said their favorite part was shopping. They aren’t major beach girls…I, on the other hand, could stay out there for hours and hours! Not sure where we will go next year, but I will make sure it is near good shopping!