Catching up

I have been posting from time to time on Instagram. The unfortunate thing about that is that I am not keeping up with the blog the way I want to. I post a picture there, but what is missing is the story or anecdote for the photo I post. So, I am going to jump in with some events as of late that might catch me up here on the blog. And my heart’s desire is to write here more. Because I always have words. Always.

Molly got to help lead worship a few weeks ago, and she got to sing a song she helped write. It was a great night!

 

Here is the video of the song:

 

Mack has been playing football lately. He doesn’t exactly love it this season, which has come as a surprise to me. But we are making him finish even if all he remembers is that we don’t quit what we start. Unless it’s that writing class we just quit a couple of weeks ago because I am flat out of steam for his last writing project deadlines. It’s May. I am barely making it in the area of home school. ESPECIALLY with a new school on the horizon. So, yeah, we don’t quit what we start except for when we do.

What he loves is talking and drawing and watching baseball. He’s shown some interest in playing baseball lately, so Josh has been teaching him a few things and doing some throwing and hitting with him. It’s fun to watch him learn new things! And Josh is a good one to learn from. He did walk out to bat to the song lyrics, “Here I am–Rock you like a hurricane!!!!!” during is University of Georgia days. No pressure, Mack.

Ruby has been going to workout with me three days a week, and she is doing so well at it! It isn’t her natural desire to workout, but she knows it is important, so she decided it would be a great PE class for her 9th grade year. She is learning a lot! I have little to no photos of her because she doesn’t allow me to take pictures much anymore. She is every bit of an almost 15 year old girl.

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I am currently listening to Beth Moore on a podcast about being a mom. Wow. It is so good. I want to be a happy mom who is pleasant to be around. I am reminded that it is only the Lord who can do that work and use me throughout the day to be a mom to these three very different kids. It is hard work, this mothering business. Hard, hard work.

I remember when Ruby was 4. Molly was 3 years old and Mack was about 18 months old. I was near crazy. I stood at the cabinets, my back to the children and just cried. There was no reason I could put my finger on, but I was not doing well, and I knew it.

I was tired. {Aren’t all mothers of little ones?} I did what I could to get sleep, which usually meant not waking up earlier than the kids because #1) I wanted to sleep and #2) If I put my feet on the floor, my kids knew it! and I wanted them to sleep as long as possible. But something clicked in my head and heart that morning that I stood there with my tears and with three babies waiting on breakfast. I decided I would try to get up every morning before the kids so I could read my Bible and get some substance for my weary soul. I tip toed down the stairs, careful not to step where I knew the creaks were hiding. I began drinking coffee at this time of my life. What a blessing coffee has been to me!

Now some mornings I would turn around after pouring my coffee and see Molly standing right behind me. I learned to just go with it and let her play quietly while I tried to read, but for the most part, I was able to have time alone with the Lord. It was such a sweet time.

I suppose some mornings I wasn’t as laid back as I just led on in the above paragraph because I just found this prayer written in my journal during this season over ten years ago:  “Quite honestly Lord, I am mad–I am trying to be alone with You after a headache ALL night, but Molly will not obey and give me my time alone. She is frustrating me–What am I doing wrong????”

But then there’s this one: “I know my life isn’t bearing much fruit these days. I do, however, see and feel a huge difference over the past 3 1/2 weeks as I have gotten up early to open Your Word and hear from You. Your Spirit has been more alive in me, I have made better choices by the Spirit’s guidance,Your Word that I have meditated on has been refreshing reminders and good for my thought life. I have enjoyed worship corporately more than ever, I have enjoyed Josh and the kids more also. Help me this day to remain in You. Tend Your garden with Your gracious hand and precious word. Apart from You, I can do nothing.”

And then scribbled over to the side as an addition, ” Thank you for sensitivity I have been given this week. Thank You for the tears.” 

There has been tears. Tears of joy. Tears of sadness. Tears of tiredness. Tears of frustration. Tears of love. I am thankful for all the parts of mothering because they have taught me so much about God. He is such a good Father. Perfect in all of His ways. I cannot imagine my life without His precious guiding and love and faithfulness and help and patience and life!!!! Yes, being a mother is hard work. There are varying seasons and none of them have been a walk in the park for me. I am a hard case. But this I know, God has taught me so much about Himself through mothering these three kids. My desperate need of Him being the foremost.

Good to keep in mind as we head towards Mother’s Day.

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