Adult Swim is the Devil
I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’m pretty sure I am on to something.
Adult Swim is the devil. You are sitting there in the lounge chair, just getting settled in with your Kindle after lathering three full sized kid bodies with sunscreen, pulling out the goggles, rounding up diving rings, positioning everyone’s towels and then you hear the gosh-awful sound of the whistle and those two words that send all your calm into a tailspin….”Adult Swim!!”
In reality it should be called something else because RARELY do I see any adults take advantage of the empty pool.
Maybe they could holler out, “GO GET YOUR MOM’S AREA SOAKING WET AND EVEN DRIP WATER ON HER KINDLE TIME!”
or, “GO ASK YOUR MOM HOW MANY MINUTES TIL YOU CAN SWIM AGAIN TIME!”
or, “RUN OVER TO YOUR MOM AND TELL HER HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE TIME!”
Yes, that one. They might as well say, “SNACK TIME!” I’m more than certain that the snacking industry and the whole concept of “Adult Swim” are absolutely in cahoots. Seriously, Doritos make a killing solely based on their consumption during the summer months of “Adult Swim.” Don’t even get me started on Pringles and Barrel Drinks.
Now, I know a kid gets hungry as a result of all that swimming, but they wouldn’t realize they were so hungry if the blasted whistle hadn’t just blown to remind them that their bellies “need” snacks. Kind of like the classical conditioning of Pavlov’s dog.
Ruby brought the “Adult Swim” time to an all-time low for me today when she hijacked my Kindle. How do you tell a sweet 9 year old no when she asks to read and tells me how she really wishes she would have brought her book so that she could lay by me and read in the sun? I mean, this is a quality I highly value in my young. I have daydreamed about the day I would have a tanning partner while we enjoy reading, side-by-side. What a wonderful thing. I think of days on the beach. Josh can’t sit still; he must always be in motion unless asleep under an umbrella. I, however, can sit and soak up sun for hours on end. Give me a book, and I am all set. So I am happy that Ruby finds reading and sunning enjoyable even if it does result in me not reading….I don’t really have much time for reading because I’m passing out snacks and answering questions about how many minutes until they can swim again.
Or maybe, on second thought, I should truly take advantage of “Adult Swim.” Maybe I should jump right in the pool at the sound of the whistle and make my way to the center of the pool, leaving the hungry kids to fend for themselves and figure out the minutes question on their own.